Maria Hill irritably recruiting the latest batch of SHIELD
"Earn $45K a year or for as long as you manage to avoid catching a bullet with your face."
"Medical and dental and the occasional accidental chemical exposure that might turn you into the next Bruce Banner! And if you think that’s a perk you should work in R&D."
"Free housing as long as you don’t mind living in Hawkeye’s building. He’s a shit landlord but his dog is cute."
"You get to be in the vicinity of pretty people like Captain America, Thor and me. Mostly me. Yelling at you. Occasionally Agent Carter. Also yelling at you."
"Lower level interns may only refer to Agent Romanoff by her codename: Black Widow. Only agents with level 6 or above clearance may refer to her as She Who Doesn’t Fucking Clean The Microwave After Her Hot Pocket Explodes All Over It Jesus Fuck."
"There’s no glamour in spying, people. Long hours. Shady missions. Morally dubious choices that will keep you up at night, eating at your soul from the inside out. On the plus side, you will be assigned a catsuit and they make your ass look great.”
"After the whole Hydra incident, everyone who was sorted into Slytherin in Pottermore is officially banned from recruitment … what do you mean that’s not a rigorous personality test."